Monsters Zodiac

I now present my "Monster Zodiac." Find yourself here. Accept what you are. Know what you've given your heart to...




 1. The Creature from the Black Lagoon. This kind of person is comfortable only in their own environment. They are dangerously protective of their home and their political space. Left alone they tend to thrive and be happy. Their gaze can be diverted by an attractive person, but in the end, well, best to steer clear of the home waters, unless of course you happen to be another Creature...




2. The Wolfman. We all know one, or more of these folks. Kind, loving, supportive, polite, thoughtful, generous, concerned and strangely, ineffectually self destructive. All is well and fun until the inevitable lunar event triggers the wrath of Hell itself. A person like this could put your eye out. ...and your lungs... ...all your stuff... The fun thing about these people is once they change back to their kind, loving, concerned selves, they have no recollection of anything that happened when they "wolfed out." They are clueless as to why the survivors are so damn gun shy around them...




3. Frankenstein's Monster. Have you ever know a man or a woman who is secure with a strong friend, but never allows a romance to develop between them? They sleep with a fiery loser. They laugh with a different person. They hold a deep bond with yet another and shares their secrets only with them. Rather than a single relationship with someone, these folks "construct" their relationship needs out of the choicest parts of other people. Not such a bad thing really...




4. The Mummy. Yikes. A past, all consuming love gone horribly wrong scars and programs all the actions of these ghouls for the rest of eternity. God protect you if you find yourself fascinated by one of these and (horrors) successfully revive one! He or she will lumber along seeking that long lost, unobtainable love and kill everything you value along the way. These don't even get along well with other mummies...




5. King Kong. These are okay really. A little defensive at times, but definitely able to take care of themselves. They play hard and work hard and fight the hardest. These kinds of people allowed us to win WWII. Be careful if one falls in love with you. There's only place in their hearts for one person and they will smash down anything that keeps them apart. But really, is that such a bad thing?




6. The Mad Scientist. "It's ALIVE!!!" These kind of folks live to see what happens when you mix this with that and throw in some of those and shoot the whole hellish mess full of as much electrical current as the wires can handle. Sometimes you get the light bulb. Most of the time you get...




7. The Zombie. Go figure... They're fine one day and suddenly all they want to do is eat you. All of you. These folks are created and rarely can they be returned to "normal." They often gravitate toward OCSE offices and can only, sometimes, be controlled by skilled, angry, Mad Scientist attorneys.




8. The Thing (from another world). By the time you figure out this person's motivations, you're looking at your insides on the floor. What's interesting about this kind of person is they can infect you with their dangerous philosophies, until you find yourself becoming just like them. These folks can change shape emotionally and can be found mostly in upper level management, but usually discover themselves dynamited and then frozen in a block of ice until someone else stumbles along with a heater...




9. The Invisible Man. Could be a woman... These are folks who venture into the unknown with the best intentions (curing diseases, inventing a new high tech plunger, inhaling a weird plant, putting a needle in an interesting place) and find themselves completely out of control, dependent, broken, shouting, angry, sad, and strangely, difficult to see coming for some reason. They are all prone to running around in the snow naked.




10. Alien Invaders. These are people who are just hard to figure out. They do things that are just difficult to get your head wrapped around. Questions from survivors are things like, "why did they eat my sandwich from the break room fridge? My name was on it," and "I don't remember loaning them my weed eater, and why did they bother to bring it back broken?" They are out there. They know who they are. They are real. I can hear them giggling...


 
11. Dracula. I'm only being polite to you because I'm not ready to hear the screaming yet." These people live off the energy, resources and lives of others. They also tend to be loyal and good in bed. They can carry on a great conversation some times too. They tend to socialize mostly with other vampires. Against type, these folks do operate in the daytime.   

  


12. And of course, the final sign in our Zodiac is dinner. These are the folks that provide the reason for the other signs to keep on plugging. Sometimes they don't make it past the first reel. Sometimes they somehow make it to the final credits. If they do, they always finish first in the sequel...

       

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